Do not Manage Marriage

 

      Marriage is the coming together of two mature minds that put aside all their differences and accept to genuinely love, respect, understand, tolerate, and support each other in holy matrimony. 

   The need for marriage was to take away man’s loneliness by having help meet in his life in Genesis 2:18 until it was instituted by God in verse 24, that a man will leave his father and mother to be joined with his wife to become one flesh. The words from this scripture that got my attention are:

i. Leave

      For a man and a woman to be united in marriage, the man has to first work on himself because he is to be the head of his home and when the head becomes faulty, the whole body which is his home automatically becomes faulty. 

      A man who is financially unstable and does not have a roof over his head, but depends on his parents to run his own home is not yet mature for marriage.

      The Bible clearly said he should leave his father and mother to cleave to his wife. His parents or anyone is not expected to run his marital affairs for him - he was once his parents' responsibility but now he is marrying to take up the responsibility of building a home with his wife and not with his parents. 

      So, the marital bond is between the man and his wife because no part of marriage is important, but a man ready for marriage must be independent, established, and fit to handle his home.

      Do you know Adam had a job and a home before God sent him a help meet? (Genesis 2:15) But in our society today, some able-bodied men are pending liabilities to the women they are to marry. They are men but act like boys that even at their marriageable age they are still amateur for marriage. Most of these kinds of men make their parents or anyone a third party in their marriage.      

      God is the institutor and boss of marriage He makes and knows when a man is ready for marriage. Any man can be ready but when God Himself gets a man ready then such man will build a perfect home. 

ii. One flesh          

      It is only in marriage that 1+1=1. The union of two to become one is not child’s play, because it is a ow that bonds them together so that what affects the man or his wife has the same impact on the other. After all, they are of one flesh.

      I overheard a man saying there is no need for a woman if not just to have children. It is just like saying there is no need for the neck when the head can decide for the whole body, but the truth remains that no matter how mighty the head is, it still needs the help or support of the neck to perform its duty. 

      That he is the head does not fully make him in charge of his home without the neck(wife) who is holding both the head and the body of the home together. Therefore, the head is helpless without the neck and the neck cannot do without the heart- that’s why in marriage none can survive by itself but with teamwork, marriage will be prosperous.

      If God made the institution of marriage holy, then it should be a holy union Hebrews 13:4. But infidelity has been the major fall of homes when waywardness replaced the priority and sanity of couples. Also, there are majority of people that marry for their selfish gain and those kinds of people have nothing positive to offer.         

        This generation does not put anything into consideration before walking into marriage, but what matters is if he or she is wealthy because to them it is another means to cash out. Listen, the greatest mistake of a man or woman is to marry the wrong person. In the beginning, it might be very sweet but with time when nature puts that marriage to taste, that is when to know the hidden kind of beast living inside their partner.

      Ask most of them in a wrong marriage they will tell you the kind of beast hidden inside their partners and the terrible things they are passing through, then you that is yet to marry will pray well for the right person. 

      Happiness in marriage does not depend on your expensive/cheap wedding, because most of those magnificent weddings end in divorce. How remarkable a wedding occasion is, does not guarantee that it will be a happy home. Also, happiness can never be determined by a few years of friendship with him or her before marriage, because marriage is a lifetime commitment and what you did not know about your spouse during those times of friendship might turn out to be your lifetime pain. 

 Note:It is good to marry at the early stage of life, but it is disastrous to rush into marriage unprepared.

       To those that have already made that mistake in marriage, I know there are thousands of reasons to quit but on second thought, have you forgotten the vow you made? You cannot just only enjoy the good time, but what about the bad time? But not in the case of domestic violence, do not wait till you are dead before distancing yourself from such kind of marriage. And seeking God’s direction will do you so much good. 

      Life is not a bed of roses. There will be bad and good times, marry someone who will stay throughout such time is more reason why doing God’s will in a marriage is very important 

The will of God in Marriage 

      God’s will is not easy when His direction is against your expectations, but if His will is patiently followed be rest assured that you will enjoy its outcome. Romans 8:28  

       I have watched so many brethren fast and pray for days on several occasions for God’s own choice of husband or wife for them, and most of them are now married and enjoying their homes.

      Your pastor or anyone else does not have the right to choose a life partner for you. You do not also marry that brother or sister just because she is from the same church as you, do not forget that a church is like a hospital where patients with different sicknesses go in and out, and not all accept to be properly treated.

      Do not pray with the picture of that beautiful sister or handsome brother in your mind because God will answer you according to the desire of your heart which is not His will for you(Ezekiel 14:4). When genuinely pray, you will have the conviction through prayer that he or she is the right one. Then follow the due process to become one flesh.

A friendly piece of advice for couples

• Husbands love your wives Ephesians 5:25

Colossians 3:19

      Someone advised us to love with the mind and to the heart open, probably because there will be betrayers. I have seen so many homes suffering because of lack of love, and I can remember vividly when a young lady came to me crying because her husband told her that she was her worst mistake in life, but she said she had not done anything wrong but to work hard to support her home.

      If love leaves its place in a home, the husband or the wife becomes a fault-finder. There is nothing done either by the wife or husband that will be appreciated rather the other will always find fault in it because there is no more love in them for each other. 

       The Lord categorically called upon the husbands to love their wives, because the wives are the part of the husbands’ flesh that should always be tolerated 1 Peter 3:7. 

      A woman was formed with the man’s ribs, and ribs support and protect organs inside. And since a woman was formed with a man’s ribs then it is expected of a husband to support and protect his wife in love because she is the product of him. 

      An abusive husband is indirectly abusing himself because he cannot abuse his wife and be healthy- if she is healthy then he should be healthy. The husband gives her love to get love in return, and if he gives her conflict then he will equally get conflict in return.

• wives be wise builders Proverbs 14:1

               

To be continued.....