Unforgiveness has led friends, families, communities, and even nations into unpleasant situations. Hatred and bitterness have replaced a friend's love and good intentions for a fellow friend, while families that once lived in harmony have turned their homes into a war zone. Communities that supported each other are now selfishly fighting for something they once shared in love, and nations that helped boost each other's economic growth are now pronounced enemies all because neither is willing to forgive the other.
We have several times made statements like "I will never forgive you or You do not deserve my forgiveness", and most of us went as far as writing down those hurting things done to them somewhere to always remember, but if we can tell ourselves the truth that since the day we choose to hold on to those grudges we also became prisoners of ourselves and happiness.
The fact that we are human beings means there will always be an offense because it is part of what keeps us going in life, and our ability to forgive and forget when we are offended is what improves and makes us better in our lives and future.
Unforgiveness has eaten deep into so many people that they are not willing to forgive their transgressors even when keeping those grudges refreshes the pain they went through in the first place. From my little discovery, I found out that:
1. Unforgiveness does not heal pain; rather, it keeps the wound bleeding with hatred and bitterness toward the offender.
Many people do not realize that they are still carrying this pain deep within them. Understanding how to tell if you have not genuinely forgiven someone can help you begin your journey toward true healing.
2. Unforgiveness sows seeds of wickedness
3. Unforgiveness seeks revenge from its offender and can go to any possible lengths to get its desired kind of revenge.
4. For those under the grip of unforgiveness they live an unhealthy life. Unforgiveness makes this kind of person mentally, socially, and spiritually unhealthy. In many cases, these effects happen because unforgiveness is still hidden in the heart. Learning ways to recognize hidden unforgiveness in your life will help you deal with it before it causes more serious damage.
5. Unforgiveness deprives many of all spiritual and physical blessings.
6. A person should not expect God's forgiveness for his transgression when he can not forgive others' transgression.
7. Unforgiveness leads to backwardness in the sense that a person will remain on the same thought every single time. Instead of making plans for the future, his unforgiveness will keep making him make decisions that will keep pulling him back.
8. Being uncomfortable because whenever he sees the person he fails to forgive, he will have that urge to keep his head down, he will feel so uncomfortable and insecure and sometimes he will see himself doing things that do not give him happiness.
9. Stress is the sense that the mind is always around, keeps thinking of ways of avoiding the person, and is always trying to suppress the feelings. The person will feel so abnormal because too much thought at a time leads to stress.
10. Unforgiveness hardens the heart in a way that the offender can not express and forgive those who have hurt him. It makes the heart incapable of knowing what's right and what's wrong. This keeps him from making the right decision, and once the heart becomes hardened it is difficult to let anyone in including the love he has for yourself.
When the heart becomes hardened like this, it is important to pause and reflect. You can identify signs that your heart may still be holding onto unforgiveness and begin to seek God’s help for restoration.
No matter how painful, deeply hurt, and unbearable it is can not compare to the pain of humiliation, affliction, and rejection Jesus went through just for you and me. Even at the point of His execution He still forgave and even prayed for His transgressors' forgiveness. Luke 23:34
Someone like Stephen was also maltreated and beaten by his fellow brothers, to the point that he was stoned to death, but before his death, he prayed for the forgiveness of his offenders. Acts 7:60
In Matthew 18:21-22, Simon Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his transgressors, he thought he could forgive seven times and then retaliate back but Jesus said seventy times seven he should forgive. If we are to do the mathematics, seventy times seven is four hundred and ninety times should a person forgive when they are offended.
So, why will you not forgive? It is also important to check yourself biblically to see if you have truly forgiven, so that you are not unknowingly holding onto what is hurting you.
May God help you forgive those who have hurt you in Jesus, Amen.
Related Bible Teachings on Forgiveness
If this message has opened your eyes, take time to grow deeper in understanding forgiveness and how it transforms your life:
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