Examples of unforgiveness in the Bible

         Unforgiveness is a dangerous emotion that can poison relationships, hinder spiritual growth, and lead to devastating consequences. The Bible provides several examples of individuals who allowed bitterness, resentment, or vengeance to rule their hearts. These stories serve as cautionary tales and offer insights into why God commands us to forgive.

1. Cain and Abel – Genesis 4:1–16

        Cain harbored jealousy and anger toward his brother Abel because God accepted Abel’s offering and rejected his. Instead of repenting or seeking forgiveness, Cain let resentment grow until it led him to murder his brother.

         Unforgiveness can lead to destructive actions. Instead of dealing with emotions God’s way, Cain acted out of bitterness and suffered consequences.

2. Esau and Jacob (initially) – Genesis 27:41

        After Jacob deceived their father Isaac and stole Esau’s blessing, Esau vowed to kill Jacob. His unforgiveness fueled hatred and led to years of family division.

         Unforgiveness can prolong conflict. Though Esau later forgave Jacob (Genesis 33), the initial bitterness shows how dangerous resentment can be.

3. Joseph’s Brothers – Genesis 37:3–28

         Joseph’s brothers could not forgive him for being favored by their father and sharing dreams that suggested they’d bow to him. Out of envy and bitterness, they sold him into slavery.

        Harboring unforgiveness and jealousy can cause people to betray even their own family.

4. King Saul toward David – 1 Samuel 18:7–9; 1 Samuel 19:1

        After David defeated Goliath and became popular, Saul grew jealous and bitter. He refused to accept David’s loyalty and repeatedly tried to kill him.

        Unforgiveness can make a person paranoid, hostile, and self-destructive.

5. Jonah toward Nineveh – Jonah 3–4

         Jonah was angry when God chose to forgive the people of Nineveh. He believed they deserved punishment and refused to rejoice in their repentance.

         Unforgiveness can blind us to God’s mercy. Jonah wanted judgment more than grace for his enemies.

6. The Unforgiving Servant – Matthew 18:23–35

         In Jesus’ parable, a servant was forgiven a huge debt by his master but refused to forgive a fellow servant a much smaller debt. His master later reversed the forgiveness.

         God expects us to forgive others just as He forgives us. Unforgiveness brings judgment.

7. The Older Brother in the Prodigal Son Story – Luke 15:25–32

         The older brother resented the father's joyful welcome of the returning prodigal son. He refused to celebrate or forgive his brother.

         Unforgiveness can rob us of joy and fellowship, even when reconciliation is taking place.

8. The Pharisees toward Jesus – Luke 7:36–50; John 11:45–53

         Many Pharisees were offended by Jesus’ ministry and miracles. They couldn’t forgive perceived slights against their traditions or power, eventually plotting His death.

         Religious pride and lack of forgiveness can harden hearts and reject God's grace.

9. Absalom toward Amnon – 2 Samuel 13:20–29

         After Amnon raped his sister Tamar, Absalom harbored unforgiveness and hatred for two years before taking revenge by having Amnon killed.

         Unresolved pain and unforgiveness can turn into vengeance and destroy families.

10. The Jews toward Paul (the Apostle) – Acts 23:12–15

          A group of Jews hated Paul for preaching the gospel and made a vow not to eat or drink until they had killed him. Their unforgiveness drove them to extremes.

         Bitterness over someone’s message or change can push people into harmful, irrational actions.

         Unforgiveness in the Bible leads to:

● Broken relationships

● Spiritual blindness

● Revenge

● Divine judgment

● Missed blessings

         The Bible warns against harboring bitterness and instead teaches us to forgive just as Christ forgave us (Colossians 3:13). Forgiveness is not only a command—it’s a pathway to peace, healing, and restored fellowship with God and others.